Monday, March 7, 2011

Real Life is a Sad Game.

Why do people have to die? 
Can someone answer this question for me? I really don't understand why people live and then die, and they're gone. Why are you one day on Earth and the next, you're gone?
Friends and family make life more enjoyable, but when you lose one of those people, it makes life a lot harder, even if it's just inside. Sometimes it's hard on the outside, too.
I had been volunteering at my library for a few months and stopped because of my allergies and not knowing what they're from. I've always known and been friendly with the librarians, so it was easy to fit in. We all got closer fast. Everyone in the library are close friends.
All of the people I worked with were absolutely amazing. Funny, smart, and really nice.
I just got back from my library, taking things back as a patron, and I asked how the one girl was. I don't want to give anything too personal away here, it just doesn't seem right. Before I asked, the manager and I were talking and laughing. After I asked, her face fell. "She passed away."
It was a long time coming, I guess, after the things she'd been through, but I still didn't expect it. How could she be dead? I was just praying for her last night to get better. I've been praying for her since forever to get better. I truly believe in God, so I really didn't think she was going to die. But I was starting to expect it, kind of waiting for it. I was getting to the point where I didn't want to go to the library because I was afraid I was going to go and they were going to tell me she died.
I just don't understand how someone so nice, so caring, so funny, could just be gone. And I know it's got to be so hard for the other librarians. I'm just in complete shock right now.
I just wish I could tell her goodbye and how much she's helped me over the last few years. Want to tell her I'll never forget her. That everyone loved her. That her creative writing free summer class was much better than she thought. I just have to know she's in a better place.